Friday, July 28, 2006

Woman! Know Your Limits

Today's Lessons:

1) Don't dare be a 16 year old experimenting with sexuality in Iran.

2) Don't think about having sex before marriage - true rebellion lies in only having sex with one man, as long as that ring's on your finger, staying in the kitchen and dressing modestly because men can't control themselves otherwise.

3) Zink is bad for you.

A more sweeping objection was exercised by an Iowa lawyer, TM Zink, in 1930. He left $50,000 in trust for 75 years for the eventual foundation of the Zink Womanless Library. Signs saying "No Women Admitted" were to be posted at each entrance and no books, works of art or decorations by women were to sully the premises or its environs. He graciously proffered a full and frank explanation for the decision in his will. "My intense hatred of women is not of recent origin or development nor based upon any personal differences I ever had with them but is the result of my experiences with women, observations of them and study of all literatures and philosophical works." Alas, his family successfully challenged his post-mortem plans and the Zink monument to misogyny was never built.
4) Will Smith can no longer be trusted.

5) Don't worry your pretty little heads over why 99s are called thus - no one knows.

Here endeth the lesson.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am worried by the ice cream thing. What does it say about the state of human knowledge if we canb't answer such a question?