Rosy

There's been a barnstorming and fluttering in the blogosphere on various topics this week that push certain of my rage buttons.  And there is some good writing on those topics. There is also a fascinating (subscription-only, alas) article by Jeffrey Toobin about Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the New Yorker, which I highly recommend if you can get hold of it (the link I've put in is to an accompanying slideshow).

But the one that is closest to my heart comes from Kate Harding on changing one's name - in which she adeptly points out that feminists sometimes do the non-feminist or, indeed, anti-feminist thing, that it doesn't make you a bad person, but you need to own that changing one's name is not a feminist action. To be honest, I'm not even a fan of double-barrelling/hyphenating - to me, that seems a little of a cop out - you know the feminist thing is to keep your name, but you really do want to take his name. If he does the same, great - and some of my friends have indeed done that. But it's a very, very, very rare man who does that. And when they are asked whether they would, often the most enlightened, ardent women's equality supporting male will react as if it's the stupidest question in the world - "why would I?" So why would I? Oh, that's right - I'm a lady. I forgot for a moment.

Like Kate I got married, too, and I enjoy being married, much to my shock. But one of the main reasons I did not want to be married was because I'd get hit with the assumptions that are made about a married women, and shortcuts taken about women that simply don't exist for married men.* Losing both my surname and first name at the first wedding we went to as a married couple caused me to cry with rage, I was so furious; the articles about married women taking their husbands' names indicate I'm still very much in a minority, however.

* There are tired tropes about married men, but a lot of those stem from lazy assumptions about women, again - for example how men are forced into doing things that they have ownership in - the house, food, their children - and it's just oh, so awful, and life would be better without her indoors nagging away and just ruining everything. Women, eh?

Making It Real

This weekend we wandered (and by wandered, I mean took a long old drive) down to Pennsylvania.  We were hoping to catch the leaves changing, but knew that there was a chance that even heading south, we might miss them.  So we thought that to keep the folks and us entertained, we would go somewhere with alternatives, namely Amish country, and Gettysburg.  And those alternatives really were something else. 

I'm not going to go into it at length, yet - still processing - but Gettysburg was amazing.  We watched the Ken Burns Civil War documentary, but a lot of it jumbled together.  Nonetheless, Gettysburg stood out, and seeing the fields - with the seemingly haphazard memorials in fact accurately placed for each platoon, for a Confederate General's fall, for the line that the Army of Northern Virginia pierced but did not fully breach - brought home the scale and reality of it in a way that I had not previously been able to process. 

Nonetheless, the whole time, I had a nagging feeling in the back of my head that wanted to know what one of my favourite writers had said about Gettysburg.  I was sure he had visited; now I needed to know how he had processed it, his reactions.  And I think, as per usual, what he had to say is more interesting and useful, in many ways, than my own jumbled thoughts right now.  

Two Brilliant Things That Make Me Happy

First: I think this video is amazing, I love the song, and she rocks. I've heard a ton about Janelle Monae, and then my friend posted a link to this - it's awesome.

Janelle Monae - New Music - More Music Videos

Second: Have you seen hipster puppies? It is amazing. It makes me chuckle every single day. Dogtaches are

Me, Myself & I

Jezebel has a somewhat incongruous, but lovely, article about the name Grace. Which obviously intrigued me.

Right now, it's hard for me to connect with the little girl who absolutely loathed her name. But that's what I was. For years, I dreamed of being called the same name as whomever I hero-worshipped at that point - "Elaine" after this girl who worked at the stables I went to every week, I remember, when I was about 6 and thereafter I can't really, but it wasn't Grace. My mother and her friends despaired. How could I want such names when I was so lucky to have such a pretty and unusual name? And therein lay the problem, at least in part. It shouldn't matter that the only people you knew with your own name were old ladies, but when everyone else associated it with them, and let you know, it wasn't so much fun.

Then something changed. I have no idea how or why or when, but at some point in my teens, it stopped bothering me. Perhaps when I went to secondary school and met another Grace, two years older. I then became a bit more protective of it, and started huffing and puffing when every time I went to the doctor's surgery, I would hear the name called and assume it was me, but it was directed to a child under five, and not me.

And then I grew to love it. And I really, truly do. I think it's a genuinely lovely name. It is elegant, and short and sweet. It is feminine and strong simultaneously. Whatever that means. It's fairly rare, at least for women of my age, and so I feel that I get to truly inhabit and make it my own. And then there are amazing namesakes, like Grace Kelly and Grace Jones,* who get to be so utterly different and yet it is not surprising that each has that name.

Although I think the real transformation was when I realised that, bizarrely, my name meant the same as my mother's. Which just feels right - a continuation of her, but as my own person. I love it.

* And it would include Grace Slick if she hadn't reformed Jefferson Airplane and did that horrendous Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now. Although if I'm named after anyone, that's her, so... better to think of her in the White Rabbit days.

Paving

Jezebel has a good post about the weirdness of celebrity-hate sites on the internet, and how they do often reflect and become misogynistic. And they don't mean Perez (ugh), but sites dedicated to one celebrity (or phenomenon, in the case of the anti-Twilight sites) - the SJP ones seem particularly unpleasant.

And yet. The post has an effect other than its intent, I imagine. I now, of course, have another blog obsession. Ihatebono.com makes me extremely happy.

Parental Guidance Advised

No, seriously.



Apparently it's because:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• sex (4x)
• pain (2x)
• stab (1x)

Brilliant. Someone other than me thinks I'm a hazard to children.

Spasm

Such a great word. Sadly, not so great an occurrence when it happens to your back and you're stuck on the sofa for three days, and when able to get up creak around like you're ninety. Good thing we weren't again in Mexico with nothing to do but surf. Nonetheless, I love weird coincidences, and was struck that while trying to soothe my back in the bath, I finally managed to get my wireless working and listened to an early Round The Horne (courtesy of BBC7) which featured Kenneth Williams' creation Spasm the Butler... brilliant.

Administering Justice: Homos

While trugging away through some research today, I found the only occasion on which a woman could serve as a member of a jury up until we were kindly given the rights by the State:

*2. Propter defectum; as if a juryman be an alien born, this is defect of birth; if he be a slave or bondman, this is defect of liberty, and he cannot be liber et legalis homo. Under the word homo, also, though a name common to both sexes, the female is however excluded, propter defectum sexus: except when a widow feigns herself with child, in order to exclude the next heir, and a suppositions birth is suspected to be intended; then upon the writ de ventre inspiciendo, a jury of women is to be impanelled to try the question, whether with child or not.

Lord Blackstone, Commentaries on the Laws of England.

Utterly, utterly, utterly bizarre. I plan to find out more about such "exceptions" that allowed women to partake of the rights of men.

Even better: While looking for translations, I also found out that you can translate your google into Elmer Fudd. Brilliant.

Who Am I?

Thanks to this v funny Wonkette post, I couldn't resist working out what this blog reveals about me. According to Typealyzer's analysis of my blog, I am:

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don't like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

They enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

It even shows you which parts of your brain are active during the construction of your blog. Apparently I is not so hot on the thinking / intellectual debate (well, doh, I could have told you that, although it smarts just a little that I'm not doing it in a thinly-veiled disguise of frivolity), but am all about the sensing and feeling. Really? As they can't spell "rhythm" I can, of course, dismiss any findings I dislike and agree with what I do like.

So, fellow bloggers, what are you? I'm going to resist doing it for you... just about... so long as you tell me what your bloggorhea says about you.

The Best Medicine

Despite the overwhelming joy felt in parts this week, it's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. The problems with Prop 8 and the general overwhelming tide of homophobia has got to me. The ongoing problems in Mexico are overwhelming friends. Work's been hard. I've been exhausted all week, not made it to the gym and eaten badly which always make me feel sluggish and grim.

So I've decided that finding something that makes you giggle uncontrollably and reliably every time is pretty special.

And now I have three ultra-reliable, guaranteed to make your sides hurt clips on YouTube that I can call up whenever I need a bit of a boost. I give you (from newest to oldest): Paul Rudd Dance, Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods and Cake or Death.

You're it!

I was tagged at the start of the month, and therefore it's obviously fitting to actually respond a mere month later. Oops. Still, as it gives me a fabulous opportunity to procrastinate, porque no?

Five Things on My To-Do List for Today:
1) Pick up passport from Mozambican Mission and take to Kenyan Consulate to get a transit visa for the summer trip (DUNZO!)
2) Go to the gym - today is a back & cardio day.
3) Sort out my fantasy baseball team for this week - had a bit of a disaster this week, as lost mucho points and Mags got put on the 15 day DL, the git.
4) Watch an episode of The Wire - we've just started Season 3 and am desperate to get home for it!
5) Do many, many, many practice essays in preparation for Wednesday's mock exam. Done thus far: 1. at 4pm. oops.

What are five snacks you enjoy?
1) Wasabi peas
2) Baby tomatoes - grape, whatever you call them - awesome!
3) Wheat Thins
4) Bagel chips
5) Grapes

What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1) Buy several aeroplanes' worth of condoms and birth control pills and airdrop them over those countries where they are unavailable thanks to the good old global gag rule.
2) Go to the entire cricket tour when England visit each of Sri Lanka, the West Indies, South Africa, India, NZ and Australia, and take my mum to each - having paid off her mortgage.
3) Buy a house in Covent Garden / Waterloo big enough to have a library with one of those ladders on wheels and built-in shelves. Sigh.
4) Buy holiday homes in Barcelona, Paris and San Sebastian.
5) Fund scholarships for girls who are generally forced to help at home with the younger siblings / household work in Malawi.

What are five of your bad habits?
(I can only have 5? really?)
1) Picking anything I can
2) nailchewing
3) interrupting - constantly
4) snoring, if you believe TOH
5) sleeping like a starfish - again, if you believe TOH

Where are five places you have lived?
1) London
2) Cambridge
3) Barcelona
4) New York
5) San José, Costa Rica

What are five jobs you have held?
1) Merchandise vendor at Wembley Stadium - oh, those acid yellow sweatshirts... such memories
2) Translator for escort ads while in BCN
3) Body Shop Christmas worker - included working on NEW YEAR'S DAY - effers
4) English Language teacher
5) Personal assistant - many, many places for far too much of my life

Five people you'd like to tag
Not sure I have five.
1) Beth
2) Soph
3) Portax
That's about it. I don't know enough bloggers!

Throw Your Hands Up At Me

I'm beginning to think that everyone involved in /commenting on this election is nuts.

From Ralph Nader: Barack Obama is talking "white" to appeal to "white guilt." Now, even if there is a part of the electorate that feels "right on" for voting for a black man, this is absolutely bloody ridiculous - it's clearly not affecting these people. So a good way to cancel it out, perhaps.

But, at least, Mr N has given me a new category for posts: Wankers!

My approach to the election is going to be more along these lines.


Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Substitute

I am grumpy, stressed and miserable with Bar/Bri. Fortunately there is relief out there - someone documenting this experience, so I know I am not alone, and he does it in a far funnier and wittier way than I could possibly, ever. Hopefully this post will stop me moaning about it too much.

Home Comforts

Part of my doing repro rights spiel is that I really wouldn't have been as interested if I were back home. Reason being, the right to abortion is not so obviously under threat. However, there is a rabid anti-choice MP, Nadine Dorries, who keeps trying to get the abortion limit reduced. Recently, I posted on my utter annoyance with the horrible David Cameron and his horrible stance on the abortion-limit vote that took place last week. Well, too bad Nadine and tough bloody luck DC, your "moral conscience" vote showed that most people feel that allowing a woman the right to choose IS the definition of a moral conscience. Fabulous. And if that weren't good enough, The Bugle's opening item this week was about it and I absolutely pissed myself on the train home. I'm particularly pleased with it as I'd been saving it for a treat, something I deserved for working hard at bar stuff and the gym this week, and it really, truly was.

Dividing Lines

A lot of things going on at the moment on the theme of race. Things of importance. That I will tackle here, maybe, but I can't help thinking I need to think more first.

And here is a list of what's making me think (yes, most from NYT, but give me a break - tired, just got back from bachelorette party...):

• A profile of Anthony L. Ricco, the black lawyer from Harlem defending the detectives in the Sean Bell case. The community pressure on him is enormous, and really gets to the heart not just of racial issues, but of the defence lawyer - the question is almost always "How could you?" How, against that animal, that pig, that rapist/monster/murderer? But given how often that divide falls to have a black defendant, the legal divide is at the heart of racial issues. And how a black lawyer really is forced to make political choices and stands in a way that a white defence attorney doesn't really have to. It's really interesting from whatever viewpoint you read it.
• Why don't Americans like welfare? Well, the question developed here really is Why don't White Americans like welfare? According to some deeply depressing research, it's due to dislike of redistribution of wealth to other races. Which is why the US spends the least money on public spending while paying some of the highest tax burden in the world.
  
• A blog I've started reading, Racialicious, has a great but deeply troubling post about reactions to racism. It's something I struggle with - how do you confront people that are saying things you don't agree with? I have a theory for action on it, which I'll talk about later (again, when fully formed). The author is suffering such a burden, it is abominable, and unfair that she feels the burden to answer for her race. Of particular interest is the fact that the burden comes reversed, in a weird way - instead of burden of representation as non-white, her problem (here, at least) is that she appears white and so hears bigoted, disgusting things that most non-whites don't normally have to hear, and then feels responsible for correcting those evils.
  
• And this post on biracial identity is extremely interesting. Particularly having read Dreams of My Father, which is beautiful, and also features a really moving afterword about his mother and her influence on Barack and role in shaping his identity.
  

Random Things I've Read and Loved This Year

(or, at least, had a strong reaction to).

• GOP villains are indeed Buffy villains. I really, really, REALLY wish I'd thought of this. It's genius.
• Apparently women shouldn't be elected because they might have babies at the taxpayers' expense and they can't think once they give birth. But Jesse Wendel sorts that out - this is excellent.
• Feministing, rather wisely, doesn't buy Chris Matthews' excuses / crap (delete as you feel appropriate).

Nothing to do?

Read some of my favourite posts from the past week:

• Scott Lemieux's take on the Hyde Amendment and "negative" versus "positive" rights- I love this guy's pro-choice stuff, it's always extremely good. From that blog I also love the "Worst American Birthdays" series, too.
• Why Can't He Be My Husband? from Dlisted
• Vayner's Back! from Gawker
• I'd forgotten about the gabba dancing, but thanks to the soup, it's back in my consciousness! also: vajapocalypse (we can talk later about the absolute fricking outrage that is abc's censoring of the word vagina but not penis).
• In vajayjay news, PS - vote for bitchphd's award - and this excellent analysis of an arseholish post on the word is another reason why you should.

Blogorrhoea

Over the summer I really got into my political blogs, and that was echoed in my I read links on the right. However, things have changed. I am tired of being angry, ranting; I wanted to write about other things: more frivol & whimsy, less despair. So I really got into my friends' blogs again, fuming when they dared to have lives that meant no updates for a couple of days.

Generally, I read very few, now. I always read feministing; lawyers, guns & money (read today's post on CJ Rehnquist, the fascist, racist evil git, it's excellent); and Bitch, PhD (both her personal site and at suicide girls). However, the one that I really treasure right now is unsprung. I don't quite know why, but I think this post on the falling divorce rate exemplifies the thoughtful, intelligent and interesting writing. The post points out that feminism, rather than being to blame for the decline in marriages, is in fact responsible for marriages lasting longer and more often. It's an excellent post.

But my love for unsprung is based on more than just this post; it's the whole ethos behind the site. I love the idea of a pro-choice, pro-women, pro-family website - that is, the idea that these things actually follow on from each other, rather than allowing the right to co-opt the "family values" issue and dictate that progressive politics are automatically anti-family. It feels as if we've allowed Republicans and the Christian right to frame and define the debate and its terms for far too long. More sites as good as this would help.

YouTube Without Pity

Today I am too lazy to properly blog, so we're going with some YouTube links - for they are genius - and then some random rules, I expect.

• MosDef on Bill Maher - passionate, political, coherent - and Jena, WTF? Yet more tragic proof that while, for once, a black man might be electable, life is not much better for many black Americans.
• Britney is a Human Shock News. This is so fake crying. It must be. It cannot be real.
• Joel McHale is... Rainbow Brite. It's so precious.
• Yorkshire culture in its finest hour. Here's the news to go along with it.
  

Don't Fight It, Feel It!

It's f-f-f-f-f-friday!

Sweet.

Even more sweet are:

• Chris Dodds kicking Bill O'Reilly's sorry behind (favourite line: "I'm sure you respect both men as patriots.")
• This genius suggestion in response to the Ohio senator who has introduced a bill requiring paternal consent for abortions. Not just notification, my friends, but consent. If you do not know who the father is, you are to suggest a list of the potential fathers. Awesome. What a git. However, if I were to find myself up the duff in Cleveland, this is definitely what I would do. I'd add Alito, Thomas & Scalia to the mix, though.

Less sweet: President Bush has truly discovered the power of the veto. Having not used it before 2007, he has now used it / threatened to use it for:

• The expanded children's health insurance programme - because we'd rather have children die of treatable conditions than create welfare dependence on the federal government, obviously. My favourite thing about this: He objects on "philosophical grounds." Funny how he doesn't give a crap about babies' lives once they're actually born, isn't it?
• The House's awesome response to overrule one of the most misogynistic, pro-discrimination decisions by the Supreme Court you could possibly imagine. I harp on about Ledbetter (here and here), but I honestly think this is one of the biggest disasters not just of this term, but of all time. Along with Gonzales v. Carhart, this is a really double whammy for women's rights. Unsprung has a typically fantastic take on it.
• As well as any exit plans for Iraq.

Wanker.