Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Disorientation

I am not keeping good hours. I'm really not. And I am extremely disoriented by being back. It's not just the time difference, although that of course is not a positive. Why I'm sitting up and watching Queer Eye, instead of sleeping, I do not know. After all, it should be sleep time... Still, there are other reasons for my complete and utter discombobulation:

First, the weather--I went from sunny, warm days (and yes, I mean that) in London to here, which is full of snow and cold. I know that in London it's now sleety, snowy and miserable, and here last week it was 60F, but the fact remains that it's been a bit of a shock.

Second, the light--before Spring Break, after leaving my internship at 5pm it would always, always be dark. On Monday, it was light. Furthermore, it was light when I arrived at school around 6. Yet, in my head, it was 10pm. Weird weird weird.

Third, the green (or lack thereof)--in London blossom is everywhere. There are leaves on the trees. Here, I know that there won't be anything for at least a month. There were so many birds singing to wake me up, the feel of everything springing alive. Here it's lighter, but all that life is still dormant, waiting to spring up...

Fourth, the change from suburban to urban. I spent all last week popping out to the garden, playing with the kittens, listening to the robins. I'd never realised quite how suburban my upbringing was, because I didn't live out in one of the Home Counties. Yet, playing around in the large garden, walking around during the day with almost no one on the street--pedestrian or motoring--I had the jolt, that epiphany, viewing my background in a way that, beforehand, I'd never really had the perspective to do so... My life here is incredibly urban, even though we're not in the centre of town. It's just... different. The re-evaluation was striking. It was odd, and illuminating.

Fifth, I miss cricket. It was so good--SO GOOD--to be able to watch it live. Talk about it. Sad, sad, sad to leave it behind. Still, as baseball starts again soon... I'm happy. Ish. And I do love my tivo. My mum's dvr is not the same - because it's hers. I love being in control!

Light of Day PS: It's one of those glorious NYC days where the sky is a perfect light blue, the sun is out, and it's luring you out... despite the fact that the forecast said that it's only going to be up to 44F, so you know it's bloody well cold out, you can't help feeling warmed inside... and the happiness to be back returns.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

A beautiful post, Grace. Welcome back.

missygp said...

Likewise. The cold turkey of not blogging did me good, I hope; or, at least, may have inspired some level of discretion or restraint so that I don't simply regurgitate my entire stream of consciousness on these pages... It hasn't cured me of my use of ellipses, however.

Xopo said...

I loved this post too! I totally understand what you must feel like. I don't know when the back and forth will get easier, but I do know that here is some kind of productive and inspiring force in it. That ability to dwell in two cities, environments, cultures at a time: priceless!
Hope to see you soon.