Will it feel so good? Tonight marks the start of drinking again and this weekend's activities are probably just NOT what the doctor ordered - a night with the margarator and a night with the biggest boozers I know, which will doubtlessly descend into a bar somewhere after a civilised supper.
Because what I have discovered about myself is that I can, weirdly, cope in the boisterous, big social situations that I thought previously would be horrendous - work dos, parties with dancing, etc. It's not ideal for me, but it's doable. You say you're not drinking for the month, people think you're weird and that's it. And you get to watch the madness of the drinking of others which can be mildly entertaining. I don't miss the huge nights - well, I particularly don't miss the mornings after. Sleeping alcohol-free is glorious.
What I have missed are the small pleasures that it brings. A glass of good red wine with a good Italian meal. A beer and a takeaway on a Friday night while watching multiple episodes of 30 Rock. That sort of thing. The message I'm taking from this month has been that I don't automatically have to have alcohol, and being more considered about my intake is a really good thing. But I really am not prepared to give it up entirely - I enjoy it far too much.
One thing that I must note, however, is that I really have done this mostly to say that I have done it. I couldn't bear the thought of caving, and so I didn't. But it was often predominantly a pride thing, rather than being convinced in the project's inherent worth. I don't know what to think about that. What I do know is that February will be dry from hereon. If I can. So it must have done me some good.
Tomorrow: Report on the aftermath of Pass # 3.
Passes used: 2/4.
Days without alcohol in February: 23.
Consecutive days without alcohol: 19.