Nurturing: February Update

The growth from friends' IG accounts to people I don't know has led me to identify several main pillars of what I choose to see. High up there are plant-based ones* - I love seeing greenery everywhere, and also a delight are those showing beautiful plant accessories, and I am obsessed with the cut flowers at Brooklyn Blooms, a gorgeous place near where we live.

The inspiration from seeing lush greenery hasn't quite led to that feel within the apartment just yet, but definitely played a role in my resolution to keep things green and alive this year. I have lost a couple of air plants, it's true, but it turns out I may have been drying their roots wrong - thanks to Houseplant Parenthood's timely tip, I've switched to drying them in bright light (i.e. the grow light that I finally invested in and have yet to affix to the herb-growing alcove where it will live). I'm hoping that this will help the rest survive.

More importantly, perhaps, I'm approaching this as a less static experience. I've somehow managed to start seeing this as an ongoing thing in my life, rather than a "leave them once I've watered them once" or even "I water them when I remember, every couple of weeks..." For example, the app I'm using doesn't seem to want me to water my golden pothos as often as the plant wants, so I have been keeping an eye on it and, as indicated by its leaves drooping, watering it when it tells me it needs the hydration. I'm checking the soil regularly. And I'm moving plants around - to where the shafts of sunlight are, rotating the airplants so they all get some exposure, trying to be more responsive to their needs. The app I'm using isn't super precise and doesn't respond to my needs without paying for premium, and I'm not there yet, but having the app has provided a base level of checking what's going on so that I have been freed up from that remembering portion and can be more actively involved in the plants' care. And this has been a real source of pride and delight thus far, which was sort of the point.

* Others: HAES and intuitive eating nutritionists along with food stuff generally; Bookstores, writers, and blogs; and makeup artists, which provides a great deal of beauty in my feed.

Resolving for 2020

In addition to ranking (in related news, my top twenty lists for the year and decade upcoming on this blog soon!), another thing we're not supposed to be doing is resolving. As with almost everything, there is a replacement, of course: while resolutions are not good, intentions are. Yet it seems these are not really that different for everyone - intentions seem, often, to be a different shade of paint but the same furniture underneath. I read a piece from a planning blogger I follow (I know) who explained intentions as about the journey, not about the end result (unlike resolutions - okay so far) - but then their phrase for 2020 was "the year I get it done." That does not feel like the journey, but very much about the end result. I might be ungenerous here, but often "intentions" strike me as being akin to the wellness/diet conflation that is so prevalent (and is much more pernicious).

Anyway, I'm down with resolutions (for a while, I wrote a whole blog about them. Didn't stick to it). I think they can be a very useful tool for thinking about what you want to do and how you want to move through the world. It's not just about the end goal - but how would you do it? One thing I resolved to do for 2019 was to be able to do a pull-up. That will not happen for, well, many reasons physiological and emotional, but it was good to break it down - what does that mean? Follow a routine at the gym. Plan my time so that I can make it to the gym a certain amount of times a week. Make sure I'm on top of my organizing time and shopping so that I can have post-gym protein rich snacks. Get good sleep to help me repair muscle and be well-rested. All these things are what I want and achievable - one useful thing I have taken from the rather intense-bullet journal pieces I have read is that breaking down a goal helps one actually take the steps toward it, and that's helped me deal with some events and things (hosting Thanksgiving, for example) that I often find overwhelming.

I've already set out my intentions for plant growing this year. I've set up my air plants and put in place my alerts for watering and taking care of both those and my cacti.

I also went through the process of the Year Compass reflection and planning tool yesterday. A very dear friend and I got delicious food (crabcakes, plantains, and salad), then headed to a lounge to sip tea and work through the exercises in the booklet. A lot of it was tough - it's been a rough year in many ways - but it was so much fun to think about how I'm going to try to make my life more fun, cosy, and how I'm going to value myself more. This year I finally started to accept that my personality is not a flaw, but I can adapt things to suit me - problem solving to make my life smoother and more comfortable. I'm excited to meditate more, to read even more (and I did well with reading fun, interesting, and challenging books this year), to get strong and look after my mental health and my family. If it doesn't all pan out, sure - this year proved that you can't plan for everything and anything, and that you can be derailed. But trying is important. Trying to be good, trying to do better - both for yourself and for the sake of doing and being good. Although try not to make it about weight loss - for you, your friends, and society.