Nominal

If you want your child to be a musical star - particularly of the rapping variety - then I believe the best thing to do is to give them a stupid, or, at the least, embarrassing name. And not of the "peaches" variety, but of the old-man style.

Examples:

Snoop Dogg = Cordazer Calvin Broadus Jr. (ok, so Cordazer not so much, but Calvin?)
Ice T = Tracy Marrow (here, Ice T has the advantage of having a surname which is the same as a vegetable only grown and eaten by old men with allotments)
Hype Williams = Harold Williams (admittedly, not a rapper but a maker of some of the most spectacular rap videos of all time, my particular favourites being The Rain and She's a Bitch by Missy Elliott and Gimme Some Mo' by Busta Rhymes - one of the best music videos EVER)
Eminem = Marshall Bruce Mathers

Speaking of names, DGC gave me the link to this rather fabulous collation of the best spam names of all time. Because if they're going to send you hundreds of emails a day, they may as well make it entertaining. I was thinking of making a list of them myself...