This is something that has been playing on my mind for a long time, but has recently surged to the surface of my concerns, as can be seen from the number of new entries on Hollaback and Anti-Harassment. This is, at least in part, because I rarely make it home here without someone hanging out of their window to stare at me, saying "mi amor", hissing... How I hate the hissing. I cannot understand why people do it. And why you would demean "love" by calling everyone by that name?
As a result of my internet searching, have found this amazing blog by some women in India - although I was disturbed to see it highlighted, in a good way, members of the "BNP", then realised of course that those letters stand for Blank Noise Project. This is fabulous because it is women taking control and taking action to work against prejudice and actions that humiliate them on a daily basis. It will be added to my usual column on the right, but I would like you to a) read it and b) read the Times of India article that is linked to on the page. It is disgusting. Time and time again we are blamed for what we wear; this not only makes it easy to denigrate women, make them take the responsibility for whatever happens, but it denigrates men, the concept that they have no control over their actions, it just happens, they are enflamed by us so.
What really makes it strange is the contradiction inherent in this behaviour: the handing over and accrediting of so much power to women, yet in a way that keeps us subjugated, feeling out of place in the world, in order to keep us down.
If that appears heavy-handed, just read the stories from these women to get an idea of the fear and humiliation. What gets to me is the conflicting messages within, the "I consider myself attractive" business - as if that has any bearing on the responsibilitiy of the women or whether it actually matters to these men. And how much being called "saggy" or "ugly" hurts, given that someone has to make the effort to think this up and shout it at you.
1 comment:
I've wondered, time and time again, what would happen if some of the women I see walking around here had some of the beer guts some of the men I see walking around here have. And why are there so many creepy old men in the BL? I think maybe we get used to a more subtle kind of slant in the "civilized world," where you get stared at and judged for wearing a low-cut top in the library. When it is 90 degrees outside. Yet another sign that we in the West have not, actually, won the gender wars.
I also have to think that there's some connection between cockroaches (known to hiss) and hissing amores. Just a thought...
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